Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm like, not good at living.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
