i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
