Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
