Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There r osticjed everywhere
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
