i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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