Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
