plz talk dirty to me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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