I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Enjoy the penises
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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