I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
