so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
