easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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