What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
