I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
