ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
