You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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