we're chasing vodka with high fives
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
