wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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