I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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