...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
