There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
