and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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