i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
