The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I supernannyed him into submission
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