come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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