i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
