I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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