I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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