escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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