I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
