Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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