just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
