i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
