I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
