there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
