I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
