Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
