I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
