Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
