Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
