we're blogging at a bar
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
