i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
