I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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