I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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