he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
