do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
