Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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