Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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