think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
try to milk me bitch
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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