i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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