# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize