wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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