Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
