Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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