Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
