SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
