I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
