Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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