ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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