oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
