I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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