If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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