Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
