You're completely useless in the revolution.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
