Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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