Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
