i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
