remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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