I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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