Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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