I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize